9-20 to 9-26-2016
In this Change series, I am posting weekly to track some kind of change in my life, outward appearances, identity. I am recording my journey over eight weeks. I thought of ways I could do this, like perhaps track the number of beers in my refrigerator and how it correlates to the number of assignments due in a given week. I dismissed that idea because I am spread way too thin and need to set myself up for success. What I do is take photos all the time, especially on my phone. I witness myself that way, and record the things that catch my eye or matter to me enough to take a picture. I have three classes at UNM along with this CNM class. I walk the same path from my parking place to the neighboring buildings that my classes occur in four days a week. At least twelve times a week I walk the same sidewalk. Along that sidewalk is the Art Annex on Copper. This fall, the courtyard is being built, and I am tracking that process. I am using the creation of a welcoming space from plain dirt to narrate my own growth.
Here is the Art Annex on September 22, 2016. Fences are up. A few days earlier I went to my first TedxABQ talk and then drove C, my healing intimate, to Angel Fire to work at a Veterans’ retreat. I am still learning that dance of intimacy. As soon as I relax into it being cozy, she pulls back. In time she returns. It’s all a reflection of my inner programming. Dammit.
Another event during this week was I finally decided to see if I can improve my menopausal experience. Full time school alone is hard enough without hot flashes, memory loss, anxiety, irritability, and other lovely manifestations of my transition to crone-hood. I decided to explore bio-identical hormone replacement therapy 2016 style. I went to my consultation. Insurance covers the appointments and blood work, but not the treatment. Of course not. I have two massage clients in as many days who just started the same protocol. That feels affirming.
Maybe I should draw a picture of my final product self like this image of the future courtyard.
I miss C this week.