9-27 to 10-03 2016

Our “Uncanny” project in photography class is due. I am pretty pleased with it. It is a version of the La Llorimg_1045ona story. The prints are 13″x19″. It is well received.

C is back from Angel Fire, and I feel like I don’t exist for her anymore. My head knows that she has her own internal programming she’s wrestling with, but it sucks anyway.

On Friday morning, I return to the doctor’s office, and she implants hormone releasing pellets under my skin and sends me home with a bunch of supplements. It is expensive (to me), but something has to give. Bandaged and cranky, I order two burritos for breakfast. I am famished and need grounding.

That night C texts me, inviting me to a concert at Tortuga Gallery. Some guy named Chad Wilkins. It feels awkward. We hadn’t talked in days. The music was amazing. It was so powerful and so fundamentally compassionate that sometimes I can hardly stand it. I nearly leave. I’m glad I stayed. As we leave, C invites me over to her house. The dogs are so happy to see me that they can hardly stay in their bodies. After a tense game of anagram scrabble, we fall back into cuddle mode. I stay over. We are a medicine for each other. Life feels better immediately.

There’s a lot of Bobcat activity at the construction site. The workers are laying the groundwork for pouring the cement. My printmaking class makes me ridiculously anxious. I often feel like a toddler melting down in the store out of pure exhaustion.

On Friday, I have been working my fall semester work schedule for two pay periods. School so disrupts my work days that I need to apply for any social welfare benefits I qualify for.

Seriously, I have no idea how I am going to do this.